Sometimes I find myself treating dates as though I’m a lot older than I really am. It’s difficult to date when my taste in men seems to differ from the type of guys I’m usually around. I’m a hopeless romantic at heart. I can see myself falling in love with my best friend or meeting someone in a cafe and sparking a conversation that lasts for hours. I use to be so in love with the feeling of being in love that I sometimes mistook that for being in love with that person. That was obviously a mistake.
I’ve grown a lot since then. I’ve realized that no matter how much I want to be in love, what matters most is who I’m in love with. I’ve also learned that if that person doesn’t love themselves it’s completely irrational to think that they would be able to receive love from someone else.
I found myself trying to love a man who didn’t really know what it felt like to be loved. He didn’t really love himself so when I showed him what it was like for someone to love him unconditionally, he didn’t know how to receive it. He wasn’t able to accept it for what it was.
Another thing that I learned, never give more than someone gives you. If you’re giving more than you’re receiving in a relationship, then you’re sowing into the wrong soil. I thank my pastor for that lesson. When I love, I love wholeheartedly. I’ve never been the type to minimize my love to fit someone else’s needs. I guess I tend to give overdoses. It becomes too much for them to handle. Especially when the feelings aren’t returned, things tend to end badly.
I’ve also learned that you don’t always end up with the person you think. Some things are better left alone. Everyone has that one that got away. Maybe it was your fault, maybe it was theirs, or maybe it was something beyond your control. It’s even harder to handle when you have to see that person every day.
I’ve said all of that to say this, things don’t always go as planned and everything happens for a reason. But no matter what, you have to accept it.
Thanks for reading!