Does anyone happen to remember the Familiar Stranger that I wrote about back in June? Well he became slightly more familiar. This could be a good thing, but of course for me, it’s not. For the sake of this blog post, I could easily say that things were great between us, but that would be a lie.
I hadn’t seen much of him since that first encounter outside of the occasional breakfast run to his place of employment. I happened to run into him on campus about a week ago. I decided to send him a message on Facebook and ask if that was him that I saw. He replied yes. I mentioned that we should hang out sometime. He agreed. Then we exchanged numbers. Keep in mind that he gave me his number first. Then I gave him mine, just so he’d know who I was when I called. He then proceeded to tell me to “hit him up” when I wanted to hang out. Naturally, I took this as an invitation to get to know each other slightly better.
After being in a lot of bad relationships and realizing the things that I did not want to put up with, I set some personal guidelines. First, if I hadn’t talked to him all day, the first message I sent to him would not be after 10pm, I would not be a booty call. Second, he would not come to my room. Third, I would not go to his place. Fourth, when we did hang out, it would be somewhere public but secluded. I didn’t want to be around everyone else. I just wanted to get to know him. Those were pretty much the basics. All of those things would keep me from making a bad decision that could ultimately lead to me being hurt in the long run.
I wanted things to be different. I wasn’t as forward as I normally would be. So I sort of put the ball in his court while letting him know I was interested. I asked if he liked coffee. He said he did, so that was the open door for me to invite him to coffee. I took him to my getaway spot, a little coffee shop in the middle of town that not many people know about. We sat, drank coffee, ate, and talked for about two hours. He had to work, so I took him home afterwards. It was nice, I had fun and we agreed that we should do it again sometime. There was a follow up text, which in “girl speak”, is a very good sign. I didn’t have to text him first after a “date” which wasn’t really a date. We were just hanging out. He texted me later that night, and we had a general conversation. I was fairly pleased.
A day went by and I decided not to text him. I did, however, text him the next day which was two days later. We had a conversation for a few hours. Then he stopped texting me. I was busy that day, so that didn’t faze me much. To make a long story short, I found out later that I was not the only girl that he had been spending time with. Don’t get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. The problem was in the previous lies that he used for reasons why he couldn’t hang out sooner. Another problem was in the way he acted once I saw him with another girl. He looked guilty. Guys!! If you feel like you didn’t do anything wrong, don’t act like you did. This gives us more ammo to shoot at you.
He looked nervous the entire time that we were around each other. Maybe he was expecting me to cause a scene… I don’t know. But I’m not that girl. Honestly, I didn’t care all that much. I just wasn’t about get played by a guy who couldn’t keep his pants up while in the room with another girl. Besides, he only wasted about a week of my time. I would have to say that’s a record. I’ve never had a guy show his ass so soon. But I’m glad he did. In turn, he saved me a lot of time and him a lot of stress. I wouldn’t have let him get off so easily if he had wasted any more time than he already had. In the end, he wasn’t as familiar as I thought.
So the moral of this story is: If you don’t invest so much of yourself so soon, it won’t hurt so much when it turns out to be another rotten apple.