April 30 in 30: #3 Untitled (for now)

I’ve wondered how you handle your tears.
If you let them fall like rain
Or wipe them away like secrets that no one else has the right to see.

I can only imagine how you felt when your nephew was born,
Someone you can share your gifts with,
Your protégé.

I’ve pictured you with a million things to say
So much that a single feature
Wouldn’t do you justice

I spent a year imagining what I would say when I met you.
But we all know
That most plans don’t always go as planned.

I approached you
And my brain turned to mush.
The writer in me was suddenly silenced.

Choked up,
Like a kid who witnessed something they had no business.
I didn’t say much

I just smiled
In hopes that you
Could see past my nervous ticks

I met you and you were everything
That I ever thought you would be
And then some.

I gave you all that I had to offer
Materialistically
In a $3 gift bag.

A bag that wasn’t quite big enough
To hold my dreams
Of what you would mean to me.

I live vicariously through you,
No way I could be this cool
On my own.

I use to be known
As a shy kid,
Not from the Chi.

You’ve given yourself
To the art
of writing

You breathe
As though you have a thousand memories
Under your belt

Memories that I would love
To introduce
My dreams to.

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