Protected: For The Woman Who Has Everything, When Everything Isn’t Enough

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The Unfamiliar Stranger

    Does anyone happen to remember the Familiar Stranger that I wrote about back in June? Well he became slightly more familiar. This could be a good thing, but of course for me, it’s not. For the sake of this blog post, I could easily say that things were great between us, but that would be a lie.

    I hadn’t seen much of him since that first encounter outside of the occasional breakfast run to his place of employment. I happened to run into him on campus about a week ago. I decided to send him a message on Facebook and ask if that was him that I saw. He replied yes. I mentioned that we should hang out sometime. He agreed. Then we exchanged numbers. Keep in mind that he gave me his number first. Then I gave him mine, just so he’d know who I was when I called. He then proceeded to tell me to “hit him up” when I wanted to hang out. Naturally, I took this as an invitation to get to know each other slightly better.

    After being in a lot of bad relationships and realizing the things that I did not want to put up with, I set some personal guidelines. First, if I hadn’t talked to him all day, the first message I sent to him would not be after 10pm, I would not be a booty call. Second, he would not come to my room. Third, I would not go to his place. Fourth, when we did hang out, it would be somewhere public but secluded. I didn’t want to be around everyone else. I just wanted to get to know him. Those were pretty much the basics. All of those things would keep me from making a bad decision that could ultimately lead to me being hurt in the long run.

    I wanted things to be different. I wasn’t as forward as I normally would be. So I sort of put the ball in his court while letting him know I was interested. I asked if he liked coffee. He said he did, so that was the open door for me to invite him to coffee. I took him to my getaway spot, a little coffee shop in the middle of town that not many people know about. We sat, drank coffee, ate, and talked for about two hours. He had to work, so I took him home afterwards. It was nice, I had fun and we agreed that we should do it again sometime. There was a follow up text, which in “girl speak”, is a very good sign. I didn’t have to text him first after a “date” which wasn’t really a date. We were just hanging out. He texted me later that night, and we had a general conversation. I was fairly pleased.

    A day went by and I decided not to text him. I did, however, text him the next day which was two days later. We had a conversation for a few hours. Then he stopped texting me. I was busy that day, so that didn’t faze me much. To make a long story short, I found out later that I was not the only girl that he had been spending time with. Don’t get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. The problem was in the previous lies that he used for reasons why he couldn’t hang out sooner. Another problem was in the way he acted once I saw him with another girl. He looked guilty. Guys!! If you feel like you didn’t do anything wrong, don’t act like you did. This gives us more ammo to shoot at you.

    He looked nervous the entire time that we were around each other. Maybe he was expecting me to cause a scene… I don’t know. But I’m not that girl. Honestly, I didn’t care all that much. I just wasn’t about get played by a guy who couldn’t keep his pants up while in the room with another girl. Besides, he only wasted about a week of my time. I would have to say that’s a record. I’ve never had a guy show his ass so soon. But I’m glad he did. In turn, he saved me a lot of time and him a lot of stress. I wouldn’t have let him get off so easily if he had wasted any more time than he already had. In the end, he wasn’t as familiar as I thought.

So the moral of this story is: If you don’t invest so much of yourself so soon, it won’t hurt so much when it turns out to be another rotten apple.



For The one That Got Away

Dear You,

It’s been almost two years since we’ve shared anything more than a hug. I must say that a lot has changed in that time. We’ve become close but distant friends. I remember a time where a day didn’t go by without talking to you. If I was having a bad day it didn’t get better until I saw your face, and what a beautiful face it was. Whenever I needed a hug you would go out of your way to make sure I got it. We had conversations that would last for hours. Conversations that left me wanting to know more about you. The things that we shared made me want to heal all your hurts. I know that might sound odd, but your happiness meant the world to me. Honestly it still does. If you were down, so was I.

You always showed that you genuinely cared for me. Even when we weren’t as close anymore. You always gave me great advice. You graduated from being the one to make me happy to reminding me that I would find happiness one day.

There came a time when I compared new guys to you. I was searching for someone who made me feel the way that you did. I soon discovered that it was almost impossible. I never met anyone like you. They just couldn’t compare. I’m honestly sort of glad. I guess I never really let go of us.

Our hugs seem to be representative of how I feel. You use to hug me for long periods of time. It was secure but not too tight. Before, I felt safe with you but I also knew that you wouldn’t let yourself get too close to me. Now, we hug for long periods of time but a whole lot tighter. My feelings now??? I cherish every hug that I receive from you and I don’t want to let go. It sort of feels like you don’t want to either. Your arms are still the warmest that I’ve ever felt.

*sigh* A ton of emotions came with writing this letter. You’ll probably never even read this, but it was something that I had to get out of my system. I can’t imagine a world without you. You made my world so much brighter. You’re with her now, and you’re the happiest that I’ve ever seen you. I can honestly say that it makes my heart glad. No more painful relationships, she seems to be perfect for you. I wish you many blessings and a lifetime filled with joy.

Love Always,


P.S. About finding someone to make me happy…. There’s this one guy, he comes pretty darn close!! 🙂

If I’m dreaming…… Let me sleep

Have you ever met someone who you were unexpectedly drawn to? I mean, to the extent that you weren’t nervous around them and everything just seemed perfect? Things just flowed, and life was easy?

Well that is exactly how I feel at this very moment about this very person. I can’t lie and say that I don’t get nervous at all. Everyone does at some point. It happens to the best of us. My nervousness, though, comes from past experiences of being let down. Let down in a sense that my feelings didn’t matter. I was afraid to let him know how I felt out of fear that he would run away.

Well he is so funny, that he says something and causes every fear and every butterfly in my stomach to dissipate. I have no reason to fear, because he hasn’t let me down. I’ve never met someone who fits so perfectly into my life. There isn’t a conversation that goes by that I don’t learn something new about him. It’s like I’m getting to know the main character in a movie. A movie that I’ve seen the trailer for, heard people talk about, read the reviews, but haven’t experienced for myself.

He’s like a dream that I haven’t waken up from, and I hope I never do. A story that has the makings of a fairy tale. He’s the perfect guy for me…… Just waiting for him to realize that I can be the woman he needs me to be….

Until then,


The Familiar Stranger

How many of you have ever taken yourself out on a date? Well personally, I tend to do that a lot. I find myself needing to get away from the stresses of this world and be alone. This day was no different. I wanted to go somewhere and be alone. I needed some Me time, if you will. So to a local restaurant I went.

I took a seat in my usual spot between the door and the register. I placed my usual order. As the waitress left my table, in He walks. I knew him from around campus and from his previous relationship with a coworker. He also worked there.

He conversed with his coworkers for a minute. he joked around about them not having My food ready yet. He then placed his order. He ordered a cheesburger with fries. Typical guy food. He then made his way over to my table. He introduced himself. For security purposes we’ll just call him Eddie. I like that name for some reason. He proceeded to have a seat across from me. He asked what I ordered. He proceeded to give me his opinion on my menu choice, which he happened to think was a good one.

He had a flirtatious demeanor about him which in turn made me nervous. I started to laugh which I tend to do when that happens. He made it very clear that he was no longer dating the girl that he was previously seeing. He also asked why was I eating alone. I told him I tend to do that sometimes. He then told me that he noticed. He informed me that he pays attention to the people he serves….. Here comes the blushing. Even though I tend to think I’m too dark to blush, he brought it out of me anyway.

He sat with me for the next hour. We ate and we talked. We both agreed that we enjoyed eachother’s company. He left.

The next week, I was at the local grocery store. it was time to checkout. I proceeded to the shortest line possible and guess who was in front of me…….
Figured it out yet?
You guessed it, it was Eddie.

He smiled at me, I smiled back. I asked how he was, he said he was doing fine. I agreed that I was doing the same. He stumbled over the next few items as he finished checking out, which made me wonder if he was nervous. I know I was.

The moral of this story is, forget what mom said about not talking to strangers, it’s always a pleasant surprise to run across this familiar stranger.

The thing that makes him even more intriguing, he never once asked for my number!!

Until next time!


*Disclaimer* I am in no way condoning talking to strangers…… But I’m grown!! 🙂

Age Ain’t Nothing But A Number

I always told myself that I’d never date anyone younger than me. There was a very legit reason for me feeling this way. I’ve always felt older than I really am. I tend to cling to older people. Even when I was younger, I would hang out in the house with my grandfather instead of being outside with the other kids. Being so close to my grandfather is probably what caused me to be so attracted to older men.

With that being said, I find it interesting that I’ve fallen for him. I’ve fallen for his sense of humor and his charm. He keeps me on my toes. He has introduced me to music that I probably would have never listened to otherwise. I never saw myself being so infatuated with someone younger than my cousin who I consider my little brother. I always thought that I would look at them as a younger sibling.

Surprisingly, nothing about him screams immature. From the way he talks to the way he dresses, it sets him apart from the rest. In my eyes, I haven’t met anyone yet that can match his swag. Even though I don’t like that term, it’s the only word that can explain his demeanor. His swag is above a ten. I’m loving it!

That goes to show that infatuation sees no age!

Until next time friends!


The African-American Cowboy returns

    I was exhausted this morning. I almost went to class,turned in my paper and went back to bed. I’m glad that I didn’t because as I walked to my next class I ran into my A-A Cowboy. I was already upset because my professor didn’t follow his syllabus and I spent ten hours of my precious sleeping time writing a paper that he didn’t even take up.

But nonetheless, A-A Cowboy made my day just a little bit better. The way he smiled at me made me feel as though it took me hours to get dressed instead the fifteen minutes that it really took. Sort of made me want to go rethink my outfit. It seems as though I’ve been seeing him in passing a lot lately. I haven’t seen him any longer than twenty seconds at a time. But I often find myself asking him how is he? What is he up to? Where has he been? Just to keep him around a little bit longer. It feels nice when he lingers in the room just to talk while the rest of his friends wait for him.

My friends keep telling me that I’m in love but I barely know the kid. I just find him slightly irresistible. 🙂 I find myself referring to him as my cowboy. I guess I’m trying to speak it into existence. I’m done ranting about him for now. This has been another episode of the African-American Cowboy.

Hope you enjoyed it 🙂

Until next time!


African-American Cowboy

I met this guy about a week ago. He’s what most people would call country. I honestly think he’s pretty hot (in a Sidney Portier in Buck and The Preacher sort of way). That’s a pretty good movie by the way. But nonetheless, I’m interestingly attracted to him.

I’m normally attracted to city boys. This could have absolutely nothing to do with a rebellious nature and everything to do with not being exposed to the city life. I grew up next door to a farm that was ran by my grandfather. City boys made me feel as though there was something they could show me that I’d never seen before. My adventurous nature found that quite appealing. Until I met Him…..

I saw him and the dreamer in me immediately turned into a lady in distress, lost in a desert. I imagined him coming to my rescue in tight jeans, cowboy boots, and a cowboy hat. To my side, he would flee saying “Howdy purty lady!” Keep in mind that this was all happening in my head while he attempted to have a conversation with me. 🙂 I was in awe.

I eventually snapped back to reality and we were able to have a decent conversation. He did get cool points for being attentive and being able to actually hold his own in the conversation. Have you ever been talking to someone and no matter how tired you got, you just couldn’t leave and go to sleep because you felt like you would miss something important? Well that’s how I felt talking to him. Not too many people have the ability to cause me to want to lose sleep. That’s two more points for him. In spite of the conversation that we had, he is still a mystery to me and that’s okay.

It seems as though I’ll be seeing a lot of him in the near future. Honestly, I’m sort of looking forward to it. We’ll see what becomes of this mystery man. But for now, I’ll just refer to him as the African-American Cowboy.

Until then, see you later my friends.