It was a usual Sunday night and I browsed my twitter feed. There was the usual riff raff and the know-it-alls prancing through my timeline. Then I saw it, the tweet that made me want to know the definition of soul mate. “Some of my best girl friends know the lyrics to Common ‘I Use to Love Her’.” Being the opportunist that I am, I replied, “I’m not your best friend but…. I met this girl when I was ten years old, and what I love most she had so much soul.” We quoted nearly the entire song. And so began a beautiful friendship. We chatted about Hip-Hop and poetry. Common and Tupac quotes turned into poetry and monologues of the Harlem Renaissance.
From that first conversation, I just knew that he was too good to be true. He made me want to know more, to the extent of sharing everything with him. He became my friend, my confidant, my refuge in the time of storm. We were so much alike. It was as if God had created him especially for me.
Being sensitive to things of the spiritual nature, it was always hard for me. I carried everyone’s burdens on my shoulders, which oftentimes caused me to break down emotionally. He understood this and so much more,
But something happens when
The only thing keeping you from break(ing)
is his dance and the sound of his voice
through the speakers in your stereo,
and you’ve learned the true meaning of love.
When you’ve grown fond of your hips
instead of the way he hops into bed with you,
you’ll learn to love yourself.
To say I grew fond of him would be an understatement. He was the Hip-Hop head that was the true definition of the thing. I listened to his music and became his biggest fan. I supported him in all that he dreamed. His dreams became my dreams and he pushed me to pursue mine.
He’ll give you the push you need
to no longer need him.
I use to think that I was more in love with the idea of falling in love than all of the guys who said they loved me before. A hopeless romantic’s job is almost impossible with no one to share that charm.
I had witnessed something that was beyond imaginable. I had experienced Hip-Hop in the flesh, the actual being, the perfect verse over a beat that hadn’t been written yet.
You’ve loved Hip-Hop longer than you’ve loved yourself
and it seems only right that he appeared out of thin air,
like a mixtape drop in the middle of the night.
I had settled for less than what I deserved most of my life. I had given 100% to men who only offered me 50%. They short changed me and left me wanting more.
Your pusher stands outside waiting
for you to get your fix.
It’s been your fix for far too long.
You waited and he appeared,
posing as the new kid on the block.
Only he’s different.
He resonates truth
and hope for something you no longer thought existed.
He gave me a reason to travel. If he could make my heart flutter from 200 miles away, who knew what would happen in person. I made that leap, drove 3 hours to meet him. His aura was one that I will never forget. Just to feel his arms around me, was like finally being at home after years of sleeping in shelters. We talked as though we had known each other our entire lives. We shared our deepest secrets over a game of pool. We talked music, family, goals, and books over Chinese. We walked and listened to hip-hop. We experienced nature together.
He shared his heart with me in the lyrics of his rhymes. I stood and watched him speak words memorized. He spit lyrics with ease. I witnessed a lion in his habitat. I could feel his passion in the way he spit. His heart seeped through his pores.
He bled the art
And you wouldn’t mind being the vessel
To which it flows
I met my best friend, my kindred soul, and my fellow Hip-Hop head.
He is the reason I question all things past. The reason I finally know the meaning of the word prototype. I can honestly say that I’m happy with him being a part of my life in any form. I’m just glad to have the ability to experience such a Godsend, such a miracle. Writing has literally saved my life and so has he. I thank God for my life and for his. He offers me such peace and he’s what I imagine serenity looks like. I’d give him the world if was mine to give, but instead I pray that God gives him the desires of his heart.
He deserves it, because he helped me find mine.