This is How You Love Her: When You’ve Found Your Rib

This is how you love her (1)

Most girls have planned their weddings before they ever go on their first date. They cook pretend meals for their pretend husbands and change pretend diapers on their pretend babies. But this is all in preparation for the real thing.

She was ready for you before she ever met you. She prayed that when you met, she would know right away. When she went on her first date, she wondered if she would luck up and meet the love of her life on the first try. Of course, she didn’t. But when that boy broke her heart, her father was the one to tell her that any boy who didn’t want her was crazy and that she deserved better.

She spent the next few years looking for that in a man. She searched for her father in a world full of sons. She dated them all. She dated the popular guy who made her feel like she was the only girl who mattered, until she wasn’t. She dated her best friend who decided that their friendship was too important to ruin. Yet, a few years later, that friendship ended for an unrelated reason. She dated the shy kid who suddenly started to see his worth and decided to share that with the world.

She cultivated a man. She saw his strengths, she mended his weaknesses. She gave him something to believe in and he married someone else. But she wished his wife the best. After all, he had finally reached his potential. At least she got to see all of her hard work come to fruition, even if it wasn’t with her.

There’s something about a girl who loves hard. Even when he isn’t for her, she pours so much love into him that it’s bound to overflow back into her life. But she hasn’t always felt that way.

You’ll meet her and it’ll feel like everything you’ve ever missed is standing right in front of you, every prayer wrapped inside of one person, every dream turned a reality. It’ll feel like you’ve been missing a part of you but you never noticed until it was back at your side.

“Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” Genesis 2:22-23

You’ll remember the time that you broke your finger and find out soon that she smashed her finger that year. Bone of your bone. Though the pain wasn’t as intense, she shared that moment with you. Your lives have crossed in more ways than one and you wonder how you ever lived without her. You realize that she’s been through hell before you and you make it your mission to give her all of the love that she’s given to people who didn’t know how to deal with it.

You look at her and you see her heart. You see all the pain she’s endured and how she’s overcame it and wonder how she still has room to love you. She’ll love you back to life. She’ll show you that everyone you dated previously was nothing like the person that God created from you, for you. You still can’t believe it.

You’ll watch her grow just from being in your presence and you realize that neither of you could reach your full potential until you could reach it together.  That’s been God’s plan all along. All of those prayers were being manifested inside of a woman who knew as soon as she met you. Your side feels like home. She can’t be sad there. It’s exactly what she’s been missing. No wonder she’s been lost. Her home was always with you.

So love her, like you’ve wanted to be loved all your life. She’ll never disappoint you. She’ll never leave your side. Besides, she is your rib, after all.

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Where Serenity Resides

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”

                                                    –Reinhold Niebuhr “The Serenity Prayer”

He’s a King covered in peace.
The physical appearance of serenity.
Crowned in favor that others can’t seem to understand
His castle is the universe
He’s the ruler of his journey
to peace.
He’s gentle courage, giving me the ability to change what I can.
He’s verbal wisdom, helping me to know the difference.
He’s the outward manifestation of an inward prayer
that blinds me every time he appears.
I see him and I can’t tell the difference
between reality and my dreams.

What to do when your dream is staring you in the face
bragging about not being another nightmare?
He’s the dream that I don’t have to wake up from.
He’s become the reality
That I stopped searching for.

He wears his power in his Crown.
No need to question the source
The most high is his plug.
His ultimate healer,
ultimate leader.
The creator of he.
The reason I be-
came the woman I am
for him, his rib
The missing help,
and the reason I never needed any.
He was there receiving power from the source
sharing the extra with me
through his words.
Dropping rubies that led me to him,
The king,
on a throne
Fit to be shared
With me.

The addiction I couldn’t get clean from.
Don’t let them tell you that your keys won’t fit.
The locksmith is not welcome here.
When you’ve found a home
Less than perfect,
A place to lay your head
When the heaviness is too much to bear.
Don’t let them take your peace
that only came when he arrived
and gave you a reason to move
into a place of solace.

When serenity resides in a man
who gives the word justice,
you’ve found a home worth sharing.

Letter to my future husband


    I was online the other day and saw Novel tweet something that got me to thinking. He tweeted “I’m not single. I’m just in a long distance relationship with my future wife. #shesouttheresomewhere.” This hit a nerve for me. I guess I sort of feel the same way. The only difference is I’m in a long distance relationship with my future husband. He doesn’t quite know that I’m his future wife. Although, this is true, I pray for him on a regular basis. I need my God to shield and protect him on his journey to me. I have to make sure that he’s taken care of before he finds his rib that can protect him even more. Well, I decided to write a letter to him. Maybe one day he’ll read this and think, “She’s been ready for me a long time.”

To my future husband

    I know you may not know who I am yet, but I felt the need to inform you of some things. First, I’m so utterly and unconditionally in love with you. I pray for you on a regular basis. Life is hard. There are times when I wonder how you’re doing. I wonder if you’re having a good day. I wonder if God is taking care of you for me. Things get difficult, and I think of you. I know that you’re out there somewhere in search of that rib you’ve been missing. Hopefully, it feels empty there. But don’t worry; there is just enough room for me. I pray that we can be best friends. Your friendship means the world to me. I also hope that we can be prayer partners. Nothing in the world will bring us closer.

    Pursue your dreams. No dream is too big. God gave you gifts for a reason, use them. Maybe one day, we can share our gifts. God gives us visions for a reason. They are visuals of things to come. Just like, I had a vision of you, your visions are just as important. I had a vision that you and I were beyond close and that God was our center. Things couldn’t be better.

    People are going to read this letter and wonder who you are. I’ll be wondering also. The only difference is that I know you exist. I know that you’re somewhere preparing for your meeting with me. I hope that God has told you all about me. So when we finally do meet, there won’t be many surprises. But I promise that you won’t have a boring day with me. I’ve been waiting my entire life almost to share all of my ideas with you. So hurry up and find me, I’m waiting.

Love Always,

Your Future Wife

P.S. Thank you in advance, for our beautiful son. He has eyes like yours, with hair like mine! J

A Graduation worth Praying For

Disclaimer: I’m extremely late posting this. So the first paragraph isn’t accurate. I am not currently where it says I am. I actually wrote this about three months ago. But nonetheless, the sentiment is the same.

So… I’m sitting in my cousin’s apartment. It’s 7:35 am and I’m patiently awaiting my trip to Murfreesboro. My cousin whose apartment I’m not sitting in is graduating today. It’s been a long journey for him. I’m slightly emotional for a lot of different reasons.

Let’s start by explaining how close we were. We were in the same homeroom for years because in our school district classes were arranged in alphabetical order. We did everything together. He was the first person to introduce me to the baked potato. I had no idea they were so delicious. He also taught me how to build a salad. We weren’t allowed either of those until we reached the fifth grade. This was “adult food” I guess. He was also the reason that I got into plenty of trouble. He did most of the dirt and I just took half the blame. I was a good kid, so you can imagine how this affected my reputation. 

Eventually, we grew up and we grew apart. He moved to another city and I stayed in the same place. We later, both went off to college in different cities as well. We kept in touch through Facebook but I hadn’t seen him in years.

He was in a car accident our sophomore year in college. He fell into a coma. He had swelling in his brain and the doctors thought he would be in that coma for months. I like to say that he was sleeping. I use to say that he was having a conversation with God while he restored his strength and healed his body. This was the most difficult time for me. I don’t think I’ve prayed so much in my life. He had to get better. I hadn’t seen him in years and I was going to see him again, alive and well. My mom wouldn’t let me drive to see him in the hospital, which made me angry. She said there was nothing that I could do but I felt so far away at school. None of my schoolwork mattered because I had him on the brain. I found myself going into bathrooms to pray for him. My friend (his best friend) kept me informed on his progress. In the meantime, I posted statuses on his Facebook page telling him how much I loved him and that he better wake up soon, to stop being stubborn and to come back to us.

He woke up and tried to escape. You would’ve thought he was in jail, the way he was acting. My cousin!! I love him so much. My faith grew so much during this time. It made me realize that if you’re going to trust God then you need to wholeheartedly trust him, not just a little bit. We had no choice but to put complete trust in him, there was nothing that we could do but wait. There were prayers going up from all over. I was constantly in prayer during this time. I think everyone was. Our mutual friend, his best friend gave me updates on his progress. I remember when she called to tell me that he woke up. I had a roommate at the time. I left the room and went into the bathroom. I had a praise break. I was so excited. I couldn’t keep the tears from flowing. I was so thankful for his life and for God’s faithfulness in his life.

This one event brought us closer again. It also brought me closer to God. I’ll always refer to that time as a renewal for me. I rededicated my life to Christ that year. I also got baptized for the first time. Things were looking up. I served a God who was faithful. I had witnessed James 5:16 first hand “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.” I was and forever will be grateful for his life. Also, I will forever be grateful for a new life in him. I may not be in a perfect place, but I’m definitely far from where I use to be.

I love you J!!

-VW