Dear Son: A Written Interpretation of a Spoken Word Piece by Urban Thoughts.

Urban Thoughts released a video interpretation of his poem “Dear Son” on last week. He asked me to write about it. So here is my written interpretation of this piece. Watch the video below, then read the rest of this post.

“The video became my healing. After I went into the Ozark mountains to finish some other writing, I ended up editing “Dear Son” with the film maker Jason Hall. It became the final poem. But I realized I hadn’t forgiven myself yet. The video became my forgiveness and redemption.” –Urban Thoughts 

For the men who have lost themselves in an abortion…

It’s never easy to say goodbye. Especially when another life is in your hands, another soul, another body. But when your life isn’t the only one at stake here, it becomes impossible.

While watching this video, I asked myself, “What would you do?”

I honestly couldn’t come up with an answer for that. But when you’ve lived your life for others, decisions never seem to be yours anymore.

When the decisions that you told yourself you’d never have to make are looking you in the face, it’s hard to make a choice.

When you’ve contemplated taking your own life, the idea of taking another seems like murder suicide. Because a small part of you dies as well. There’s a saying that with death comes new life. But it’s hard to live a life when you’re missing a piece of it.

But at some point you had to make a decision. Do you give up your future so that your son can have one? Do you change the course that God laid out for you, simply because you weren’t ready. It makes you wonder if readiness isn’t overrated. Nothing ever happens when you want it to happen. You’re never actually ready to be responsible for a new life.

But they say that everything happens for a reason. Even this. There’s a lesson in the pain. There’s a lesson in the regret. You don’t have to punish yourself for something that a younger you did. If we asked you today, that decision may have changed. But who knows how anything else would have turned out.

Even the smallest change in the past disrupts the climate. It changes the course of time. When you’ve given your all to a woman and she starts to harbor a piece of you, she becomes you. That pain that you felt, she felt it too. Women are incubators. Whatever you sow into them turns into something remarkable. You gave her a piece of you and even though she didn’t keep it. Even though that piece didn’t have a chance to grow. Her heart didn’t stop growing.

You asked a question… “Did you fight, like I should have fought for you?” You said that “[you] were reminded… that they say sons are like their fathers.”

If your son was like you, he knew the difference between a murder and a sacrifice. He knew the difference between a victim and a martyr. You weren’t a policeman or a Mr. Zimmerman. You were a young man who ran out of options. You were a young man who hadn’t gotten life figured out yet.

You were a man in love with a woman who hadn’t gotten life figured out yet. You were a young man who learned what it meant for silence to grow into constant yells and screams. Screams that grew from grief. But grief that led to prayer. Prayer that brought you closer to a God of forgiveness. That same forgiveness that you’ve learned to gift yourself. Because in reality, we’ve all done things we’re afraid to admit. We’ve all done things of which we’re ashamed. We’ve all done things that have taken us years to forgive.

They say that time heals all wounds. But I say that time exposes the scars. Those scars tell a story of why we’re still here. They tell the memories that we try to forget or the ones that we hold onto. Some memories we hold onto for dear life. Some scars we cut open so that the pain doesn’t disappear. We feel that if the pain leaves, so does the memory. But in that comes growth. Those same scars grow back stronger even when we try to make them wounds. Eventually they’ll all forgive themselves. It’s only right that you do too.

 

Credits:

Harley Quinn on (background vocals)

Poetic Sun and Suavo J (actors)

AC Dutch of 224 Studio (recording)

Jarvis Sumlin (J.D. Daltry) of KneeBraceMusic (audio production)

Tundrea Lyons (voiceover on the phone)

 

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Spoken Geniuses: Danez Smith “Mail”

It’s my belief that there should be no apologies for art. However, i will make a disclaimer. This poem has content that may not be suitable for children. Watch accordingly.

With that being said, this poem is pure genius which would therefore make Danez Smith a spoken genius. Enjoy!

Suppressed…….. Not depressed

So I was recently reading a blog that made me question some things about my writing. I get writer’s block sometimes. After reading a post by one of my favorite bloggers, Erica Riva, I’m not so sure if its block or if I’m having a battle within myself. She asked, “As a writer, do you sometimes feel suppressed?” Well the answer to that is an easy one.

    My answer is that most of the time I find myself writing for other people rather than writing for myself. I use to write and be extremely open about how I felt. All of that changed when I came across the world of spoken word. At that point, I was no longer writing just for me, I was writing for an audience. I was penning for an audience that could be offended by something that I said. They may judge me because of my feelings or the lack thereof. I shut down in a way. I wasn’t being honest with myself or the audience.

    I find something strange. My friend gave me the name PoeticXposure because he says that I expose myself through my poetry. This turns out to be not as true as he would think. I’ve begun to not expose myself to certain people. If there was someone in the audience that I felt would be offended by a piece, I would perform something else. Eventually this will have to stop. I’ve written things that are dear to me, that expose me beyond what I’m comfortable with. Have I performed those pieces? You ask, of course not. Maybe one day soon. Maybe I’ll be comfortable enough to let the world in on how I truly feel, regardless of people’s guarantee to be offended by something I wrote.

    With this blog, I find myself not posting things because I’m not sure if I’m being too open or not. I keep reminding myself that this is my life that I’m telling people about, and most of the time, it’s not just my story that I’m telling, its someone else’s. I feel like I’m not being completely honest with my readers, or with myself. So I’ve said all of that to say this. I will live up to my name. I will stop hiding behind what some would say my computer screen. I’ll share more. I’ll give more. I’ll expose more. It’s about time that everyone gets to know the person that I try so hard to hide.

Thank you for reading!

VW


Emotions

Can’t really explain my emotions, I just hope they’re here to stay.
I’ve been let down many times before by boys who called themselves men.
I met you and it seems like forever, I’ve waited to feel this way.
You changed the game; I’m no longer focused on then.
I’m more interested in whatever is to come.
I can’t quite put my finger on what you’ve done.
I just know, I haven’t been this happy in a while,
Things look so much brighter whenever I see your smile.
A smile that deserves to outshine the rest,
No need to look anywhere else, to me their second best.
I’ve never met anyone quite like you. You’re a rainbow after the storm.
Your arms are just the right size that I need to keep me warm.
So stay with me one night, I promise you won’t regret it.
I’m here as long as you need me, and I hope you don’t forget it.

To the Man who Spends His Free Time Writing

To the man who spends his free time writing……

I’ve been waiting my entire life to meet you.
Meet the man who can turn a blank page into a canvas.
A canvas for the wonderful images that rest inside of your mind.
The same man who can turn those images into spoken word.
I’m intrigued by your style, the way you wear your clothes.
Your wardrobe screams poet.
It sets you apart from the other wannabes.
No more people who just write poems, you’re the real deal.
Afraid to introduce myself, I let my words define me.
Speaking in a way that I never thought I could,
You made me want to be a better artist.
While struggling to get my name out…
Your vocal chords introduced you as amazing.
They told me that I had to step my game up if I were to compete with you.
But it wasn’t about competing; I was just honored to share the mic.
Then I met you and I could see why your voice would brag, it spends every day with you.
I was happy just to share the moment.
In the back of my mind, hoping to learn all that I can from you
While giving you the opportunity to learn a few things from me.
I said all of this to say…..
I want to be the inspiration behind your words,
The reason for the sound behind your vocal chords….
 
Sincerely, a girl who spends her free time reading.